As the day approached closer the excitement was building mixed with shades of anxiety, of course in a good way. We did tie the knot in church but the Jain wedding was going to be a slightly bigger affair.

Traditionally Gujaratis have the Mehendi ceremony, two days prior to the wedding, where a henna designer or some relative applies mehendi to the bride's hands and feet. Its intricately designed with a bridal theme consisting of dhol, shehnai, flowers, groom's initials, peacock, and many more artistic connotations of a marriage, and the bride's family and friends celebrate the occasion by singing songs and applying mehendi as well.

Bhavika's mehendi ceremony was minus all the hype and just a homely affair.
She was happy that it turned out to be beautiful, of course its a momentous occasion for the bride. Its a belief that darker the colour of the mehendi, the more bride is loved by her husband and in-laws. This sweet ritual of mehendi signifies the strength and power of love in a marriage.

There are innumerable things to be sorted and organised as you come closer to the day. The big day arrived and there was a short ritual in the morning at Bhavika's place before the elaborate rituals of the Gujarati wedding started. There were few butterflies in the stomach, which I guess is a normal feeling. Coming to the clothes, the bride has to wear the traditional Panetar saree, which is a combination of white and red with bandhani design imprinted on them.

It took Bhavika under 2 hours to get ready and that was followed by a short photo session with the usual bridal poses. Another pose holding a coconut, that features in many customs and is considered to be a sign of good luck. The bride's uncle (mother's brother) presents the bride Chudi Kakan, chudi are red bangles while kakan are made of glass with uneven surface that means life is full of highs and lows. In the picture below uncle's wife is putting on the Chudi for Bhavika. While that is being done, Clyde, the bridegroom, arrived at the venue with his family. He is not suppose to look at the bride yet, but we both were looking out for each other. The groom usually wears Chudidar or Sherwani with a turban (known as Saafa in Gujarati).

The arrival of the groom and his family is called Ponkvu, which marks the official beginning of the Gujarati wedding. The groom is asked to step onto a bajat (low wooden stool) where Bhavika's Kaki (father's brother's wife) applied the traditional red tikka on Clyde's forehead and handed him a Shrifal (coconut) as a symbol of good luck. The Maharaj (person conducting the ceremony) chants mantras as the groom is given the ceremonial welcome. At the end the groom has to break a clay pot filled with rice before seeing the bride. Once that is done, Bhavika's maternal uncle led her to the groom, then she walked around Clyde few times before exchanging garlands. During this entire ritual the groom has to remove his shoes, and that's when Bhavika's sister and cousins hide his shoes and later on ask for money in exchange of his shoes. Clyde gave up too soon and had to shell out Rs 1000 to get his shoes back. Now that was fun, as the groom tries to move away couple of times making it difficult for the bride to put the garland around him. Bhavika had to try at least 5 times before succeeding to put the garland.:) Everybody had a good laugh. The ceremony now begins on a serious note. After the welcoming of the groom and the short rendezvous between the bride and the groom for the first time during the wedding, we both proceeded to the stage or mandap, where we again exchanged beautiful garlands. Then the Maharaj asked us to sit in front of each other as he tied a thread around us, binding us together with holy mantras. Bhavika's two sisters, real and one cousin sister, were called to the mandap to hold an antarpaat or curtain which separates the bride from her groom. This is also called Kanya Agamana, and as the Maharaj begins chanting the mantras, the antarpaat is lowered. At the same time the Maharaj ties a cotton cloth around the groom to the sari of the bride, this is known as Hasta Milap, an important ritual in a marriage. The tying of the knot and the joined hands of the bride and groom has a deeper meaning since it symbolises the union of the two hearts and souls. Luckily all the rituals didn't go on for long, and we were kind of enjoying it. After Hasta Milap, we had to perform Mangal Pheras, which means taking rounds besides a diya or lamp stuck in kneaded flour. There is a difference in customs, as in Jain marriage there are only four pheras, compared to seven in Hindu weddings and instead of the sacred fire there is only a diya or a lamp. Part of this ceremony were Bhavika's cousin brother and Kaki. At the start of every phera or round Bhavika's Kaki put water in her hand with a the betel leaf and then her cousin would put the leaf with the betel nut on it. The Maharaj explained the significance of each phera to us before bowing in front of the Diya. Since the mandap was a bit narrow, we had to take small steps and Clyde often stepped on my sari. We don't exactly remember what the four Jain pheras represent, but this is what we managed to grasp, one phera symbolized respecting each ones religions and beliefs, one phera was for laxmi, thats for wealth, the third was for shakti or strength and the fourth was for moksha or enlightenment. We weren't officially married until the Mangal Sutra, symbol of marriage in India, is attached around the bride's neck. For those who don't know about Mangal Sutra, it is a gold ornament strung from a yellow thread, a string of black beads or a gold chain. Just like how a wedding ring is exchanged in a church wedding. We were officially married for the second time, earlier being the church wedding, after an hour and fifteen minutes long ritual. :) So to end the ceremony on a lighter note, Maharaj included a fun-filled game of Aeki Beki, which is generally played at the groom's house, but we had it during the wedding itself. We were given a thali filled with betel nuts and each one had to take a fistful of nuts and the other person had to guess whether it was odd or even. We had 3 rounds each and they say that the winner dominates the marriage. So who was the winner of this odd and even game, haha, it upto you to guess! There is an ancient practice in India of bowing in front of elders to seek their blessings on momentous occasions. So there we were, taking blessings from all our elders, relatives etc. Each person gives a small token in the form of money.

Once this was done, we went to the room where the Maharaj conducted the last ritual of the wedding, as we celebrated with some sweet. Then it was time to rejoice with family and friends and some good food!
This was a short journey into a new chapter in our lives, we seek your kind words and best wishes! Read the complete post...

Its been a wild journey full of highs and lows. We traversed the hills and forests, lived in the wild and urban jungles, we fell apart and were pieced together bit by bit.

Finally after years of nurturing each others love, we decided to tie the knot. Due to the enormous amount of planning and preparation that precedes a wedding, we have not been able to update this blog.

It kick started with the Marriage Preparation course, which is mandatory for couples getting married in church, organized by the Snehalaya Family Center.

It was a weekend course where they teach you various aspects about married life, changes and adjustments that needs to be made, its kind of like why men are from Mars and women from Venus, they also spoke about positive communication and how to have a fair fight without letting it go out of hand. Of course there's a lot more to it than that, so it would be advisable for any couple getting married to take up that course. Since we follow different faiths, we chose to get married both ways, so we had a Church wedding on 15th November and the Jain ceremony on 20th November.

The 15th was decided two weeks prior to the day itself, leaving us with little time to organize things. Shopping, planning, meeting relatives, designing cards, decorators, everything happened thanks to our helpful relatives and friends, not to mention a lot of hard work put in by both of us, its not easy getting married :) But the point is of enjoying every moment of it, and we sure did! In order to proceed with the church wedding we had to first fill up something known as the Pre-Nuptial Enquiry form, in the church where you want the wedding to take place or the Parish you belong to.

Once thats done either you can depend on the Church to send the documents (including an affidavit of the non-Catholic party) to the Arch Bishops house at Colaba or do it yourself. We chose the latter option due to the time constraints, but it took merely 15 minutes at the Bishop's house to get the documents approved. We then gave it back to the Parish Priest, who reconfirms the date and time of the nuptial rites. The nuptial rites is the exchange of rings and vows which is the main ceremony of getting married in the Roman Catholic Church.

There was no wedding mass and the rites sometimes are not allowed to take place in church, due to the fact that its an interfaith marriage. So the day finally arrived and in the presence of a few family members from both sides we tied the knot. It was a short ceremony that lasted around 20-25 minutes, short and sweet it was!
Now this part was confusing, we had Brunch at South Indian restaurant called Banana Leaf, while part of Clyde's family had lunch at his sisters place.

Since Bhavika's family is pure veg, its difficult for them to be seen around the Sorpotel :) So a feast awaited us. The meal was delicious, very filling and worth the cost. We enjoyed the Idlis cooked in Malabari Stew, yummy yummy and a variety of Dosas. After the heavy brunch, we headed to his sisters house to attend the guests there and cut this gorgeous wedding cake, that his sister had ordered from her friend. It was beautifully decorated with doves, rings, flowers and the absolutely mouth-watering insides. She also took the trouble to put some decoration up, which is much appreciated and of course we cut the cake, it was a special moment in our lives. Thats the two love birds :), coming up next is the Jain wedding ceremony. Read the complete post...